A Paper Weight For A Badass

Description

Your desk isn't macho enough.
You might have the sipping bird, you might have the balls perpetually smacking the balls back and forth.
That's a good start, but you need the unnecessarily cool paper weight.
The arrowhead cuts your envelopes open.
This isn't ordinary stationary, this is EXTRAordinary.
At your desk, you're sitting there like, "I was born in the wrong era! I'm supposed to be hunting right now, banging rocks together! Now I gotta file all these dern TPS like a goob...but at least I got my bill slaying paper weight, so I guess i'll survive this...until I can sneak away and build a hut in the woods, and tell these people to suck it."
When people see this paper weight, they'll be like "I better not try any weaselly bull crap, cause this guy's got a rock he could hurl at my face...dang, I really wanted to act like a little weasel. Guess I'll just have to mess with someone else."
There's really not a whole lot that needs to be said about this paper weight. It's speaks for itself.
It radiates happy vibes.
In fact, if you stare at it too long, you'll start giggling. And then someone will walk in on you staring a rock, giggling at it, and they'll probably fire you, and that's when you know it's time to go live in the woods, and f*** a bear.
Made by Robert Ratliff